May

In my consulting work in Business Leadership and Effectiveness, I continue to run into the same type of human relations issues that I did in my former life as an H.R manager.  People just seem to get "tangled up.”  Emotions take hold, and rational thinking is blurred.  That's not a good recipe for making progress.

Simply being human--with thoughts, passions, needs, wants, egos, defensiveness, and habitual behaviors complicates the mix.  Most times we're trying to resolve

conflict with only half-truths, or lack objectivity or clarity on what is real--what are the facts?  Then, add the important business factors--the necessity for "change", the need for increased productivity, the need to be more competitive, the need to move forward with gusto, the need to streamline, update, do things decidedly different, and yes, to improve--and the entire mess gets very complex.  Tension mounts as opposing forces increase.  Unfortunately, there is no "one size fits all" recipe for resolution!

Michael Grinder, noted author and expert in non-verbal behaviors, shares that "the epicenter for all conflict is in rights/perceived rights." (also known as “needs”).   To get to a point of resolve for these conflicts won't happen until those alleged "rights" or “needs” have been excavated....often very carefully as in an archaeological "dig". Once lifted up and given voice, only then can movement proceed towards resolution—-to open a pathway to creative problem-solving. These conversations are difficult; it is so important to stay on the high road and engage purposefully.

That's where principles of expected behavior come into play and why having standards of conduct are so important.  All need to be clear that constructive behaviors are paramount. Of equal importance is having clear intentions of where the business is headed, and why, and what collectively is needed...to reach the business goals. Having clear, well-communicated and well-understood rules and workplace goals must be underscored. All in the workplace need that clarity and focus for coherence and alignment to move forward together. It is a process.

Conflicts are an opportunity for growth. When you are able to resolve conflict in a relationship, it builds trust. Other good can stem from conflict. Conflict

produces change, can lead to unity, and can promote collaboration.  Remember, Peace is not the absence of conflict...but the ability to engage purposefully with conflict.

This summer's edition of Spirituality and Health magazine is devoted to relationships--of all kinds. One poignant question was posed by the editor; that is, to get really underneath the tangle of a difficult relationship, ask, "Why is it that he/she or we/they cannot choose peace?" (Perhaps that is the root question to ask of all workplace relationship entanglements).

The postscript:  In any moment, peace is a choice. Is it for you?  Lights On!