May

Over the years, my coaching and consulting has provided me with opportunities to work with many people, and in many organizations—small and large, for-profit and not-for-profit, white collar and blue collar, and with people across generational lines. Each organization is trying to make sense of things, to move forward with progress and success; and often, there are one or two people who are difficult and challenging in their interpersonal relationships, and that wreak havoc on the organization. In past years, Supervisors would take courses specifically addressing “How to Work with Difficult People”. And in most situations, things improved. There has also been the issue of the existence of a few “nasty people in the workplace”---these are people who hurt, betray, or degrade others in the workplace. They feed on a co-worker’s self-esteem, mental anguish and unhappiness; they like the power that provides. Mostly, nasty people will do their victimizing in a sneaky manner, under wraps, enjoying the cloak of secrecy. Still, the numbers of the “nasty-types” were few in the past; and reputations of the nasty-types ultimately tended to “do them dishonor”.

Many of today’s organizations present a whole new level in determining who’s wearing sheep’s clothing and how to deal effectively with extremely manipulative, sarcastic , and hurtful people. There’s even a new word to describe this toxic movement in workplaces. The numbers aren’t just a few anymore. It’s rampant---that is, it is rampant where organizations and their Leaders have allowed it to remain undetected and to go unchallenged. That’s precisely what gives that behavior power. It’s called Snark.

Snarkers are those who underhandedly undermine, use, abuse, harass and flat out snark you at every turn. Generation Y people use the term, “snarky people”. Some, who think it is funny, refer to snarking as an ego-boosting-game played by those skilled in delivering and escalating “snide remarks”; snarky people prey on those who are the weaker. [Snark is the portmanteau of snide remark; one word created by the blending of two others.] Snarking is an adult form of bullying. At the root, it is unprincipled, unkind, disrespectful and even ruthless behavior, manifesting in snide comments, personal insults, degradations, humiliations, put-downs, jabs, dissing. (“It’s all the same beast,” per David Denby of the New Yorker, and author of Snark.) But it is even more than that—it is a manipulative process of victimization and abuse. It is “invalidation”. It’s done by “invalidators”—people who enjoy destroying another’s cabability to have happiness—even for just a few moments.

As Jay Carter notes in his book, Nasty People…How to Stop Being Hurt by Them without Stooping to Their Level… “if invalidation didn’t work, nobody would do it.”

Snarking can be stopped in a workplace. (Repeat: Snarking can be stopped in a workplace). Snarky people can be called out. It is a behavior---a harassing behavior; and harassment of any type is unacceptable. If the Leaders of the organization want it to be stopped, they have the situational power to detect it, to openly condemn it, to insist upon and to enforce non-harassing, non-snarking behaviors. To me, it is not a generational thing, nor is it a new thing. Having a workplace that is free of harassment and free of snarking simply makes good business sense—grounded in humane treatment of people principles and in setting an atmosphere for people to be increasingly productive.

That’s what effective Leaders do.